News and Articles
Talking Points
17th November 2005
Maybe it's a romantic notion that people of yesteryear were better schooled or that the finer points of communication just came more naturally to them.
Maybe individuals were less concerned about rejection, were more confident overall, were actually taught the art of conversation. Or maybe they just didn't have texting and emailing to hide behind?
Our kids feature frequently in our social office conversation these days. With a range in age of newborn to pre-teen, we cover all the ground between breastfeeding and first dates. And while the bleary eyed among us look with wonder (and envy) at those with fresh and rested demeanours, the reality is that sleeplessness starts during pregnancy and continues until your children leave home and perhaps have kids themselves.
With the joy of parenthood comes worry, and one of the main concerns as we strive to raise our kids well is their social future in an increasingly hi-tech age.
As the networkers of the future, how will they cope when faced with talking to an actual person rather than via the latest dinky device? What will they say? How will their message come across? What about tone? And what about non-verbal communication? Will the body language guru Allan Pease be out of a job? Because if the art of conversation ever lived, it is at severe risk of dying a slow and painful death.
Without intending to fob off the total responsibility for our children's future sociability, anyone old enough to avoid being categorised as Generation X, Y or Z, has the potential to influence their interpersonal success. Engaging them in conversation, coaching them on the concept of dialogue, and role modelling sociable behaviour will ensure that these kids learn to pick up on the unspoken, comprehend ‘tone' and ‘emphasis', and even get good at small talk.
Already we hear of co-workers with adjoining desks do their talking via email. Colleagues who avert their eyes as they pass in the corridor may however manage to communicate all kinds of intimacies via the somewhat impersonal medium of the Internet.
Examples of the extremes in social graces can be observed every week in our office reception area: the gentlemanly candidate who stood up every time the female consultant re-entered the room, and the slouching school leaver who wanted ‘a job'.
The major RSI or OOS complaint of our kids' generation will likely be of their texting fingers. What will their future be if they don't learn the value of eye contact, a pleasant "hello" and a good firm handshake?
Because it can only get worse without some major interventions!
Prepared by Ian Chitty and Ingrid Hennessey